That Explains Everything

I’m brain-damaged.   Literally and seriously brain-damaged.

I have been in Guatemala for 13 weeks now.  One of the main reasons I came here was for my children and I to learn Spanish.  I have learned next to nothing.  Don’t get me wrong.  I can say many things and understand a lot more but for the amount of time I’ve been here I know nothing.

It’s not because I’ve been lazy.

I’ve been very lazy.

It’s not because it’s too hard.

It’s way too hard.

It’s not because I never got around to it.

I just never got around to it.

It’s because my brain is damaged.

I think I know why my brain is damaged.

I don’t really know why.

One day I woke up and my brain ceased to function normally.

That was two years ago.

After that my body began shutting down until I was mostly dead.  I know you don’t believe me because you think you die all at once but people don’t really die that way.  Different parts of you die before others.

So many parts of me were dead that for a while I couldn’t stand up and walk across the room.   I had a baby that I couldn’t pick up by myself.  And my brain was one of my deadest parts.

It’s interesting how you can be going along in life thinking things are going so well and that you have things all figured out and then all of a sudden all you can think about is how much you want to die.  All of you.  For real.

Interesting.

Oh, so back to the Spanish…

My 15-year-old got tired of hearing me talk about taking Spanish lessons so she signed both of us up and we went yesterday for the first time.  It was awesome and I think I would have learned a lot if I had a fully functional brain but even as it was I still learned some new things.

Like I learned that “me gusta” means “I like”.  So you could say, “Me gusta tortillas.”  If you liked tortillas you could say that.  I don’t really like tortillas which is unfortunate because they don’t really eat anything else here.  But then I learned that you don’t conjugate gustar like you do other verbs so you only say gusta or gustan but I still don’t really know when you say which.  Maybe I’ll figure that out in my next class.

Still, I’m excited to finally be taking Spanish classes!  Spanish is useful in Guatemala where people don’t speak English.  It’s a good thing people are so nice here.  Especially to brain-damaged gringas that don’t speak Spanish.

Really, super nice.

Me gusta Guatemala.

I think that was the point of this post.

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