Respect Their Reality

If they say they are cold, they are cold.

If they say it’s too hard, then it’s hard.

If they say it’s scary, then it’s scary.

Denying a child’s reality is not going to keep them warm or make it easier or take away the fear.

As I suffer through the difficult challenges in my life I want a little understanding of what I am going through. I don’t need someone to fix everything for me. I need someone to talk with me and admit the truth. That life can be very hard and it’s okay to be afraid and it’s okay to be sick and it’s okay to spend time with people that understand that and love me anyway.

Every single day when I practice the violin with my eight-year old she gets tired of it and she says it’s too hard. Every single day I tell her how right she is. It IS hard. And then we play the song one more time and she puts a little sticker on it when she gets it right and it makes her smile and want to try again tomorrow.

I tell her that she’s amazing and she can do hard things and when I say it’s time to practice she never complains. She runs to tune her violin and rosin her bow because she likes to feel amazing. It’s fun to learn a new rhythm and learn to play the songs your big sister is playing. It’s fun to feel yourself getting a little bit better every day and to hear your teacher tell you that she wished all her students practiced as hard as you do.

And when it feels too hard and you want to sit down and cry, that’s okay too. Especially when someone is right beside you that understands the fear and will listen. We all need people that will tell us we are brave and help us want to try again tomorrow.

I love tomorrows.

3 thoughts on “Respect Their Reality

  1. Melanie

    I love the little windows into your heart you share. They are so beautiful. And I get so many great inspiring ideas from you. BTW, whenever Rainee talks about you she tells me what a good mom you are. She always says, “She is such a good mom,” then she thinks about it and looks me in the eyes and says, “She is such a good mom.” It is sweet to see her love and honor for you. Thank you for teaching her – what a gift that is for her life that she got to see you mother your children. We love you.

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  2. Jenny

    I love this so much. My older children are struggling right now– all of them. And it’s hard to find a balance between “I’m here with you” and the much easier “I’m here to do it for you.” This piece was just the reminder that I needed!

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