Addicted to Chaos

I claim that I want to be organized and that I want a calm and simple life so why do I keep starting project after project?

That’s a good question.

My only excuse is that we have needs. We need an education and money and better health and more fun and the time slips away and the chaos builds.

It’s never enough. I always want more yet I wonder why my children are never satisfied. They see endless possibilities and they want it all so I choose for them. I say no to the toys and the games and the distractions. I say yes to the trees and the pond and the music.

We’re learning a new song for Halloween and so far, it hasn’t given anyone nightmares, so good. We won’t be playing this song at any children’s birthday parties in the park. This month we’re going to pick pumpkins at the corn maze and see a Halloween play, as usual, and we have a crazy idea that we’re going to make costumes. It’s been years since I’ve attempted that. Last year we did my all-time favorite Halloween costume idea ever. We made fun masks and everyone wore stuff from their closets. They were happy and I was happy, the end.

This year? We’ll see…but it has to happen one way or another because I said it would. I’ll have a hint of what our costumes will be in a couple days and what my other latest new project is and today I wrote some song lyrics for the first time in history.

I’ve been thinking about songwriting the last couple months. Other people do it so why can’t I? Of course I can. It was scary and hard but I held my hand and took deep breaths and after I had written a bunch of notes I talked my eleven-year-old into helping me arrange all of them and tomorrow I’m going to talk her into helping me write the music for them.

Do you know when the best time is to talk children into doing fun things that they don’t know will be fun? When it’s time for bed. They’ll do anything to stay up a few minutes later, even work on a dumb grownup song that they don’t understand and then they’ll wonder why they don’t write their own songs.

Yes, why don’t they? Now is as good a time as any and I totally didn’t have that planned, uh huh.

The chaos?

It’s worth it. Remind me to tell you how I deal with it some time.

Happy October!

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