Rewriting the Future

Everyone has regrets. What are you going to do about it? People like to make themselves feel better by saying that they wouldn’t change their past because it made them who they are today. The more trials the better, right??

Actually…the more opportunities the better. The more support the better. The better education the better.

Expect better.

You’re stuck in your current job because you don’t know any better. If you knew how to get out, you would.

You have poor health because you don’t know any better. If you believed you could heal yourself, you would.

You are wasting your time on mindless entertainment because you don’t know any better. If you had the recipe for success you would bake it.

Looking Back

A friend of mine asked me what I would do if I could go back to a time in my life where I could actually change the course of it. I would have done a lot of things differently if I had been educated enough to know better.

I homeschool my children because I hated every single minute of public school. As far back as I can remember. Hated it. All of it. Of course, that’s not exactly accurate and just means that the bad so far outweighed the good that I can’t remember any of it. I do remember being clueless and bored and miserable.

I got good grades because that is what you do and I joined music and sports groups to break the monotony, but all those years, I felt like I was doing nothing but waiting for my real life to begin. The life where I got to do something interesting and important and I didn’t feel dead inside.

What would I change? 

I remember a girl in my high school whose sister was on a popular soap opera and this girl had gotten a part on it as well so she was going to work while she did her studies from home. I wish it had occurred to me that I could have been homeschooled. My mother worked every minute of my life but I would have homeschooled myself.

My older brother dropped out of high school after his junior year and went to college on a presidential scholarship. I was going into eleventh grade at the time and I wish it had occurred to me to drop out of high school and go to college too but it didn’t because I was only a stupid little sister.

My senior year, I didn’t need a lot of credits to graduate so I spent afternoons taking classes at the local college. It made my life a little more exciting, but it was just one more waste of time.

I guess what I really regret is that I never met one single person that told me how smart I was. I never met one single person that infected me with their passion for life.  I had a little bit of success in high school and college sports but I didn’t know how to translate that success into real life.

I was dumb because I thought I was dumb. I was dumb because I spent my childhood being told I was dumb. I was dumb because I came from a family that had lots of degrees and no education and it’s next to impossible to break out of the cycles you are born into.

I eventually did break the cycle and gained some knowledge and purpose. I can’t go back and change my own past but I can save my children from the soulless life I lived for so many years. I can try to give them the education I didn’t have and the support I could never find and the opportunities that I always wanted.  They will have their own regrets, they already do, but they are smarter and stronger than me, by far. They don’t believe me when I tell them that but they are finding it out for themselves.

Regrets are good as long as we learn from them, right? As long as we change our own life for the better and we help others along the way.


There is nothing to regret about that.

Let’s get on with it, shall we?

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